well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
