My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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