Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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