So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize