and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
