I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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