a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize