If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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