I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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