I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
