Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
