It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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