he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize