If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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