is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
