let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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