singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize