this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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