the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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