lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize