he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
