Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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