but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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