Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
