YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
