i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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