i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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