just come out here and I will go home with you...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We have so much sex to catch up on
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
