..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
