i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
