I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
