'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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