i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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