y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
either way he was missing a nipple.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
