Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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