I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
