Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
