is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
