Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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