I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
