That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize