She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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