Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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