You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
