It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
