just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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