Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You took a bar mat shot.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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