Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
