dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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