the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
