his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
