Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
