Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
and she was petting her beer can
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
