I looked at my own cervix.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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