What did we do last night that was yellow?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
