Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
