it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You ate ashes out of my bong
i believe in u and ur pee
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
