I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
