Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
