ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
