he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
