i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
