Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize