just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
