The maid of honor just puked.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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