Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
