so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
