I'm lost and stupid without you.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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