in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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