you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
