so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize