my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
